Tony Robbins says: “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.” Makes sense, when we think about it. Speaking a goal out loud, writing it down, seems to make it tangible.
I must admit something though, that I feel is important when you receive my letters in which I attempt to cheer you on and hold you accountable to your goals, new year’s resolutions. And intentions.
Ready? Here we go:
Before I understood who I really am in my core, I was immensely overwhelmed when it came to setting a goal for myself. I had NO CLUE how that could look like or how I could possibly achieve that. I would get SO defensive when others around me achieved theirs, and I felt mad (at them, at myself, at the whole world). I blamed myself for not being disciplined, for being a failure, and my inner critic took over again and again. I’m not good and strong enough to set and obtain a goal.
As I am writing this to you, I see the issue crystal clear! News Flash! I’m not a failure, and I am indeed strong enough to set and fulfill a goal. However, what I didn’t do when I attempted to set goals earlier in my life, was the inner work.
My goals were all about the outside and external!
In two ways:
1. I thought what would be a prestigious goal, that my outer world would applaud and accept me for?
2. What does everybody else pick as a goal? If it’s good for them, it must be good for me?!
Now, let’s unpack what has changed for me from 5 years ago to today. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was on a train traveling from Cologne to catch the bus visiting my grandma. And like we all do sometimes, I was scrolling through my Instagram. Pausing when I heard a woman whom I followed for quite some time talk about a book The Why Café.
I loved her authenticity and quite frankly, I loved that she seemed to be on a similar quest in life like I was: wanting more of life, thinking there has to be more depth to our experiences, connections, relationships. And so long story short I ordered the book.
Essentially, it challenges its readers to find an answer to a simple and yet very complex question Why am I here?
And so my journey of personal development and growth began. I read books, I journaled, read more books, listened to podcasts, hired a coach, and began to realize how my intuition led me on the right path.
Today, I do know that life is all about building deep connections, having a meaningful impact on the world. My goals from years ago seem shallow to me. I wasn’t connected with them. – Read that again: I wasn’t connected with them. – I was connected with what I thought was expected of me! These are two very different starting points for setting goals!
I dug deep into who I was then, and who I wanted to become. When I got on the first call with my first growth circle five years after I was confronted with the question “why are you here” – I got my answer. TO inspire people to get out of their box of limiting beliefs what’s possible for them. It’s my purpose to guide people on their journey to get clear on their as I call it VIPSOs: Values, Interests, Purpose, Strengths, and Opportunities.
That’s what I did, and continue to do. That’s how I find joy, freedom, belonging and inner peace in my life (daily).
Seneca said “If a person does not know to which port he is steering, no wind is favorable to him.” Getting clear on my values, on what really interests me, on what my purpose is on this planet, and what my natural strengths are, as well as my opportunities for growth, allowed me to say YES to pathways and directions in my life that FEEL right to ME.
Knowing my VIPSOs helped me say yes to my role in people operations, made it simple for me to feel how much I desired to become a coach, and helped me set goals for the next chapter(s) in my life.
As you know (hopefully :D), my vision is that if every person, one individual at a time, connects with their inner self, and leaves their box of limiting beliefs, external expectations, and the past. (Because your past does not define you!) Check out my website if you want to read more about my why and vision www.leaveyourboxwithkat.com When we realize that everyone brings something beautiful to this world, when we see that we are all connected through our human experiences, when we understand our pain, and our triggers, and say yes to this journey to ourselves, we can make this world a better place. Here we have it: the depth of my personal why.
So for now, I leave you with the challenge to brainstorm answers to the question “Why am I here?”, so that next time, we can dive deeper into the VIPSOs.
And hopefully, along the way, you can reflect on your goals and make sure you feel connected to them on a deeper, more meaningful and personal level.
PS: If you find yourself feeling triggered, or thinking I don’t have a why, this is silly, switch to the following journal prompts:
1. What do I need to let go of to believe I deserve to be happy?
2. What’s really holding me back to follow the quest for depth, joy and peace?
3. I’m afraid to …
4. All my life I thought I have to…
Why? Because we all are programmed through our upbringings through our experiences in school and society as a whole that we have to play in the box that is comfortable for everyone around us. But that holds us back from living fulfilled, in joy and peace. So utilize these prompts to generate awareness of your belief system.
Rumor has it that once your thoughts are on paper, it is easier to see that you are not your thoughts, and that they are just that: thoughts. <3
Love & Light,